(1st Verse)

Man, I really cant stand all these damn bright lights
I demand that it stand pitch black at night
And all these songs and sing alongs need to stop
Lawn ornaments on every house on the block
Gonna pillage Santas Village just because
And plant one on the lips of Mrs Clause
And then, maybe then I’ll catch some sleep
Sick of all these kids causing chaos in the streets
With their hooting and hollering and reindeer games
Im losing my mind got me going insane
Black Friday, really where people try to kill me
For that ultimate gift for their spoiled ass kid
I think not, I hope your fruitcake rots
May your presents be empty and stocking full of rocks
Go back to school little ghouls, stay off my lawn
Santas not real go ahead and ask Moms


(2nd Verse)

12 days of Christmas, you mean two months
Every time a bell jingles I heard a Elf gets jumped
Everybody and their Mama acting like the Dali Llama
Matter of fact I hate Kwanza and Hanukkah
And all the shiny things that go with it
No need to get specific I find it a bit horrific
A huge man in a red suit on top of my roof
Load the double barrel aim and shoot
Give me the loot give me the loot
The hat and boots, that sack that your holding and dont be cute
Now make your way back to Norway, Switzerland or is it Sweden
Anywhere but here somewhere European
And dont forget dasher, dancer prancer and vixen
Comet, Cupid Doner and Blitzen
Good written, save your holiday cheer
Here’s to a shitty Christmas and a crappy New Year


(3rd Verse)

You really want to know what chaps my hide
Hallmark holidays built on lies
I dont believe in anything yea I know surprise
That is, unless I see it with my own two eyes
Well I guess its not all bad it cant be right?
Yea it take it back Christmas bites
Who am I kidding, you can keep your gifts
Take a step outside and end up getting frost bit
the foods horrible, yuk roasted duck
Who eats beats canned yams and such?
Still got turkey in the fridge from Thanksgiving
Bring on the Barbecues and the backyard shindigs
Download this, pay no fee
Dont say I never gave you anything its Free
Im serious, I gift from us to you
And look who just caught the flu